you.left.me.alone

Friday, March 31, 2006

10:18 PM
but you never came...

zhang made my day! lols. we had a looong talk today. basically crapped abt lotsa stuff. he scolded me.. :( for the way i hold my pen. -.-'" yeah~ he said if i learn how to hold my pencil far away from the tip and noe how to stablise my hand, i'll be able to play better!! yay!! hahaX~

den he told me abt his new qin and all that.. he just bought a new lao hong mu qin by wang gen xing! and its so cheap la, its less than $800 can. kaox.. i changed my mind. i dun wan hu han rou's qin liao. i wan wang gen xing's qin. he's hu han rou's shifu, and zhang say he can get one veh good and cheap one for me. and he say muz quickly go save up, cos tt guy's damn old liao.. 70+++ le!! so muz quickly buy b4 he u-noe-wad. lols~ den zhang toked abt junru's qin. e say its sounds damn nice. cos he go change the snake skin. den he say my qin haf zhao yin becos of my gong, not my qin. cos new gong oso muz season. he say my gong is counted as a veh good beijing gong..so, yeah. oh, and, zhang say wang gen xing and hu han rou's coming to spore this yr. he say if possible, he arrange me to go meet them!! WHAO~ (min hui fern oso coming for concert. he wan me go attend lessons from her!) hahaX~ and he said after my dipls, he teach me how to differenciate 'real' and 'fake' erhus. he said dawei's wang gen xing erhu is fake one. he oso mentioned that now in the market, alota fake goods, and posers. so he going to teach me how to see qin and duan ding and how to choose the right ones. YAY hahaX~, but im going to be waiting for damn long man. cant wait for Os to be OVER!!!

den here comes the part~! he told me that this time kao ji is until MARCH!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! im sooo gonna go for grading man. no more jc for me. im going full swing into erhu-ing after Os, all the way till march. im determined to get that stupid diploma i shld haf gotten LONG AGO. i DUN CARE. im getting it asap. he say after i get my dipls, he'll 'promote' me. he gime some of his students. ROTFL~! YAY haha. and i dun care, i muz get tt stupid dipl B4 JUNRU GETS IT. my aim is to beat (as in win) him. i made a bet with him, to surpass him in 5 yrs. so now, im jus gona speed up this proccess. im going to beat him in the nxt kao ji. i wana get higher marks den him. REMEMBER THAT. rachel yang aims to beat chew junru in erhu by the nxt kao ji. sigh~ if only i haf time and song..i'll go for NAC this yr man....

anyway, jus wana noe wad happened to ng... how come ur tagboard bu jian arh?!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

10:27 PM
but you never came...

wats ur damn fucking bloody problem?!?!?!?!? im not ur punching bag okay, i haf my own live.

all i said was one sentence and u bombarded me wif hell lot of a noise and start banging things.

WADS UR BLOODY PROBLEM?!?!? wad has YOUR prob wif my dad has gota do wif ME? so wad if ure my parents? prob between YOU TWO haf ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do wif me. and I DINT CAUSE THESE PROBS so get ur bloody ars off my back. stop pissing me off cos im NOT INVOLVED!!! this is the second time in weeks im toking to u and u gime this shit. other pple thot i dun live wif my parents. well, i am. but it doesnt seem like tt. there's NO DIFFERENCE. how many times do i get to see u in a week? how many times do i get to tok to u? how many sentences did i say to u each week? i can count all tt with my fingers; there's no need for my toes.

theres so much stuff i need to discuss with u. DO U KNOW? no, u dun. all u noe how to do is to throw ur farking temper arnd n start yelling at puzzled faces. wad haf i said or done? i jus asked a question of less than 10 words and u gaf me this shit. great, lets COUNT:

"tml u going or dad going?"

SIX WORDS. jus six words and i get hell. i cant imagine wad'll happen if i continue with wadeva else's on my mind. u'll probably jus kill me on the spot. six words, and i get thrashing for 3++mins NON-STOP, followed by a damned BANG of the bloody door. excuse me, im not there for u to yell at. im there to TALK TO U abt stuff. no, i shld use DISCUSS.

how many times haf u been yelling abt being sick and tired of the family and my DAD. come on la. who duno HE's the main cause? everyone can tell la. but wad has UR HUSBAND gota do with ME? nono, he's my dad, i cant say it tt way. wad has UR PROB WITH UR HUSBAND gota do with me?! i dun haf a choice as to whether i come to this world. so jus try and make this bloody journey on earth a better one for me can..? i dint ASK to be here. i rather NOT LIVE. so jus stop bothering me and make things sound like as if IM THE MAIN CAUSE. and IM AT FAULT and IM TO BE BLAME. esp when i dun even noe wads going on.

get this straight.... LEAVE ME ALONE

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

10:43 PM
but you never came...

Ningfei made my day! he msged me in the morning at 10+. he said his friend told him about my dedication to xycamp peepos.he said he wish to see the nxt xycamp. i hope so too! muz let the ningfei spirit live on! lols. whatever tt has gota to with xycamp will definately light up my day. :]

had chem test. it SUX. TOTALLY. elim jus made this stupid rule that pple who cldnt meet her expectations will hafta pass her our hp, till she's satisfied with us. i sure tio one loh.she nagging me for so long liao. damn la. and guess wads the greatest part...i realised that this stupid test got alota mistakes! i had this WHOLE QUESTION worth of 10 marks WRONG!!! oh gawd.den i realised i mixed up K2CR2O7 and KMnO4. im soo gona be in deep shit la. there goes my hp loh.

and she's super ridiculous can... practically half the class wun be able to meet up to her expectations one loh. anything below a distinction is bad. come on man, spare a thought for those who are slow in thinking and stupid by nature. so wad if u got the knowledge when u duno how to use them?like, im so dead can..?

im suddenly thinking alot today. wad if i never existed..? im sure it doesnt make a difference at all lorh. the world wun stop wad. and pple wun die. i probably dun haf to exist...no, no... im wrong. it does make a difference if i dint exist. it'll make the world a better place, with one evil less...i'll save all the teachers' precious time and effort. save my parents, save my friends, save the environment. im toking alota shit here. my mind's in a whirl. having random thoughts.

i tink the auden debators are great. they muz win! yeah~ i suddenly rmbed ng's msg las yr, after the debate. he said we lost cos dui fang de fan bo neng li bi jiao qiang. he explained to me in chinese, yeah...

oh. saturday no school. yay! edward wong's AWAY.

im listening to yes 93.3 now.

i owe teachers alota work. amaths hol assignments, amaths hw, emaths hw, ss hol assignments, 5 journals and 6 newspaper articles.

i hate elee. she made GARY PHUA sit at my desk during english. she SUX.

i tink im going crazy any moment now. kill me b4 i go harming everyone.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

12:23 PM
but you never came...

ystd was learning carnival day 2..

was too tired wen i got home.. and as usual, i fell aslp in front of the pc while blogging.. everything of my precious 3 sentences' lost so, here i am again...

lc day 2

nothing much to tok abt. had principals tok den some stupid course den go orchard den lit evening.

orchard thingy is sian. i shall tok abt lit evening.

the lower sec are getting more and more violent + vulgar nowadays. PLUS, their roleplay is totali no lit sense lorh.. jus some play tt sends out NEGATIVE messages... nvm. i was complaining to ng more than half the time.

sec 3s not bad. one class only. but that's when i woke up from dreamland and watched the play. after that's MARIA'S!! yay. maria rawks. they edited their play. much better now. hope they win.

den there's the movie screening. OLIVER TWIST... =.=

but acutali the movie not bad la. very...language-y (huh?). like their use of language. ok, nvm. ted was my armchair during the movie. lols. damn farnie. den pris and teresa they all were watching another show. the 'true love' couple. basicalli whoo-ing and ohh-ing at their EVERY MOVE... and, yarh.. tts it i guess. nothing liao.

ltr gota go sch attend some stupid useless tok...yeah..

Thursday, March 23, 2006

10:30 PM
but you never came...

im seriously not writing this entry becos ure reading...

ng likes to punish his students. a fact that was updated today. anyways, he damn concerned abt his problematic student-me. ok, shant elaborate. yeah, anyway.. i tink ng dun derserve it. as in, the treament he gets from his students right now.. he's a great person, so, yeah, STOP BULLYING HIM! ok, enuf. anyway, fun facts abt ng... sarene! luk here!!

ng SHOUTS and he can STARE !! wha, dint expect tt.. but well, pple changes with the environment.

ok, one more fun fact. and i dint noe im such a lagger... ng's sis is studying in aussie since 2004...? -.-'" ok, i noe...

9:38 PM
but you never came...

LEARNING CARNIVAL DAY 1

this yr's learning carnival totali no spirit leh, sian. started off with creativity challenge. reminds me of last yr's learning carnival, ng wore pink polo tee... LOL! ok, digressed. anyway, yeah, this event not bad la. our class guys at first not veh cooperative, but when we cheering that time, they actuali DID SHOUT.. whao! mrs wong joined in our cheer, den k tan filmed us.. lols, i tink they reali bao bei us until like wad lidat.. as in, we've only been together for less than 6 mths and they're reali like giving in alot to us... and doing alot for us. they reali like parents lidat. lurve them! anyways, our class dint win anything. but mrs wong still veh hapi. i tink she got this damn motherly image la, every time smile smile den luk at us with those kind kind eyes... like we're all her kids, den she tink we so 'cute' and childish... haha, duno how to explain....

den got this stupid stress management thingy... make us more stressed nia lorh. dancing hiphop... lols. the guy damn ah gua!!! he can shake his butt better than jlo's lorh! rotfl
anyway, after tt was this stupid finance talk thingy which we attended last yr.. so darn boring can! i fell aslp. so did everyone else... poor speaker

den we got L.O.S.T in serangoon... of ALL places serangoon... i rather get lost in little india la (not a racist comment plse). me amanda elaine and HO ziting one grp. we've finished 14 out of 20 qns by the time we got to the interchange... sian lor.. den we kinda slacked alot during the race. we got baq as the 2nd grp, den went baq to class and slept for 30++min. den after tt go home tt time half awake nia. anyway, vanessa damn farnie. she did alota censored stuff to tt chicken wing. nvm

got home and took a one hour long bath... lols! back to lower sec sch days, when i can afford to do tt... okok... im damn tired today. so im going to slp for 7 hrs.. pple, bless me kaays...

tml's gona be the day! lit evening! yay, maria's soooo gona win.... BLESS HER!

oh yarh, i forgot to mention... I SAW ZHANG LAO AND XWJ JUS NOW!! gawd, jian gui can...

i was at the traffic light opp BHCC waiting for tt stupid traffic light to change colour, den tt car right in front of me is zhang lao's car. i got totali FREAKED OUT can... and den i was like, starring hard at zhang lao and luking at xwj, den xwj was starring at me... so freaky... and he drives a mercs, new one sumur. anywayss, addition stuff.... chenyang is learning erhu from chin gi!!!!! she charges him $30 per lesson... ehhh i charge cheaper leh, learn from me la... $20 per lesson!! i got experience de!!!!!!!! lols

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

9:33 PM
but you never came...

i wana thank him. i wun gif up on myself!!! i'll work hard, pass my chem. stm is not an excuse. RACHEL YANG, study hard and make it possible to get an A1...! jiayou

9:16 PM
but you never came...

pple changes. for the better and/or for the worse. well, im getting reali worried and confused here. des once said to me that true friends will tell each other when they're changing and hlp them find their true self. well, i kinda agree... but now im stuck. like ive said, pple changes. im changing too. everyone is. i duno whether its good or bad. whether i shld tell my fren(s)that they're changing. cos if i tell them they're changing, its either they change back or get reali pissed with me. then, tts the end of our friendship. but am i being a fren if i see them change and i jus sit back and do nothing about it? wat do u think? if ur fren is changing, will u tell them strt or jus keep quiet about it?

i need advice..! NG~ i need u.......... help me

4:56 PM
but you never came...

two words to describe today... FU*KED UP....i noe tts reali vulgar, go ahead and scold me... i jus hate today... come on man... I DID MY WORK.. wats her damn fu*king problem...?!?!?!? cant she see that IM JUST STUPID and just DUN UNDERSTAND A THING...?!?!?!? after 1++yrs liao.. come on la... i never once passed my chem exams... and i DID STUDY.. so can u just conclude that IM STUPID instead of ACCUSING ME...?!?!?!? push push push... be glad i dint bang that stupid table flung my chair back and walk OUT OF THE CLASS... ur teaching is good, ur a great teacher, but so wad if ure great when u haf a STUPID STUDENT who jus cant enter and use wadeva uve taught... jus GIVE UP ON ME la.... come on man, who wants their results to be like shit... wat haf i gained from not studying..? u tink im jus LAZY, but hello~ cant u see that im bloody hell trying my very very very best to absorb?!?!? the hurt ive gotten from bad results are much more than the freedom i get from not studying... u tink i duno how to analyse....?! just bloody accept the fact the IM STUPID and leave me ALONE

Monday, March 20, 2006

5:42 PM
but you never came...

injustice!!!!!!!!!! i did my homework lorh... I DID LORH.. den ng stabbed me by asking this stupid and irritating qns : so hw much hw did u copy todaE? PLEASE... i got do work one la... cos i promised sooo many pple tt im gona work hard liao.. promised my parents, teachers, him and ng.... so, im gona TRY MY VERY BEST to finish all my work asap... UNDERSTAND....?

anyway, got our jersey today... no comments lol.. but we waited damn long for it liao, and the effort that cons and everyone put in, we can all see that.. um, yeah, tts it i guess... gtg do ss liao.... so, ng ah, dun say i nvr do work liao ok...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

7:30 PM
but you never came...

good luck to me... im still left with tons of hw undone... BUT amazingly i did ENGLISH! oh whao... so, im still left with :

3/4 A Maths paper,

A Maths TB qns

2 SS SBQ,

1 SS SEQ,

Geog TYS,

Chi Si Han,

Chem TYS

in other words, im gona be dead tml...

12:57 AM
but you never came...

im like, sooooo flattered can... lols.... GIM THIA ah, GIM THIA... can u pls OPEN UR EYES and DIG UR EARS b4 u say something.. cos i dun see why u shld call me pro... pro is got talent + got skill, ive got NO TALENT and so little skill... so, yarh...

ok, thia thia wants me to join NAC competition this yr..to beat this guy called ben toh..... and from wad i heard, tt guy is nowhere better than chenyang, so acc. to thia thia, i can beat him... but HELLO~ anyone lousier than chenyang cant even clear the first rnd, so, wads the point of getting into tt competition to beat tt guy...?! BESIDES, tt guy is aiming for a 2nd in NAC intermediate, but hello~ if im going to join, i wun be able to beat him, cos im going to aim for NAC FIRST, mind u... lols.. i noe, bu zhi liang li... but randy is no more in intermediate wad... rite? and so is moses.. so i tink shld be ok if i biah.. BUT DEN, again, im having my Os this yr la, not like u all can take train de... totali no time to prac erhu, can...? i cant even rmb the las time i TOUCHED my baby...

and another thing, i dun like competitions... erhu and music is something i like, and i dun like to use it for some stupid meaningless and cruel competitions... it'll make me detest erhu and music... i dun use something i like for competition, i dun wana kill my passion... well, i may sound soo contradicting here.. hahaX~ i noe la.... tho i stil wana win junru and the rest... i dun tink i will join NAC ba.. i noe its a way to finding out where i stand in national level, but as i had told thia thia, there's so many pple out there who's better than me, wad for go for competition and throw zhang bin's face..?!

and as usual, this yr's gona be 90% zym's students.. and he's bound to be that sole winner..AGAIN last yr finalist of all those category, i tink only 1 or 2 not his students, we were toking abt kelong-ing, but well, i duno... maybe he's reali tt good.. all his students seems to be top.. one very very good example is RANDY.. youngest to get dipl.. and wads more, he got top in spore for both the dipls... 2004--top in nafa dipl, 2005 (when NUS grading jus started dipl grades) he oso got top in dipl... but i believe he got tt talent..

well, i pity thia thia.. he got shoot by me until cannot climb up sia... toked alota abt nac and zym...

well, was saying that zym likes to 'freeze' his students...and like to hold his students baq... more or less for the sake of $$$. he will push them like shit when there's competition or grading, den after tt, he will slack and start to hold his students... thia thia said it dint make sense. he said it wun make any diff for him if he held his students baq, since he's alrdy filthy rich.. but once again, HELLO~ where do u think he got all those $$ from..? by digging into the grnd..?! lolX he push his students only for fame and not for the benefit of his students... he holds them back so that they wun throw his face wad, and spoil his name in co world. tts how he maintains his 'erhu da4 shi1' name... but seriously speaking, i duno whether i agree with the name or not. and he's using his fame and popularity to increase his status. once he got tt comfirmation from others tt he is so 'great', he starts increasing his fees.. excuse moi, he is charging far more than sunny wong la... he cld ne charging more than li bao shun for all u noe... and f.y.i, li bao shun is the principal of SCO... amazing thing is pple dun seem to care abt tt price he's charging them. like, excuse me, standard basic price for lesson is $50 per 45 min or 1 hr, depending on the grade.. but he is charging like, as high as $120 per 45 min lesson...!!!!!! madness. his policy now is 3 yrs to grade 9, but i pity junkai (my senior in rsco, he was my shifu). junkai WAS the youngest to get grade 7 las time, at the age of 10 (or izit 11?) tt was wen im in primary school... but its alrdy after more than5 yrs and he hasnt gotten a dipl.! wha, i can get dipl if i wan in less than 3 yrs la! im not boasting, im jus showing u guys the seriousness of zym's xiao ke...

ok, i tink i digress too much liao. too much co tok here, and sarene and minshian is going to HUH very loud, so, ya... tts it..

Saturday, March 18, 2006

10:05 PM
but you never came...

MY ZHARBOH IS SAD and she nvr tell me why... BUT she cannot sad, if not i wun forgif myself.. lols... u pple out there, she's under my care hor, so dun piss her off, or u'll gedit from me...

3:49 PM
but you never came...

shuhan called me EARLY IN THE MORNING today... she thot she called rachel TANG.. sian, woke me up from my dreamland den after tt i cant slp..

she brought soo much memories to me... memories that i thot i had forgotten long ago, stuff that i thot i wld nvr rmb... the days that i get morning calls everyday without fail.. his voice greeting me every morning... how i wld jolt awake when i hear my jiang nan ringtone... mornings waking up with ~~love~~ showering on u.. he spiced up my school days.. i truely lovED him...

like wad sarene said, i can only kip him in my heart... tt darkest corner... and i'm going to make sure that light doesnt reach there... cos i wana forget everything..even the most pleasant thing that had happened... and he's happi now, much happier. he loves his school, he loves tt new environment and he loves everything. he's foreva smiling, im glad (:

we promised tt we'll still remain as bestest friends. but im losing touch with him. there were time when we chat daily from 11 to 3, time he stayed up late just to wait for me to get home from sy pracs. how i wish we're still so close...toking abt everything under the sun, everyday... not that i still **** him, but i do feel hurt to see him change so much. yan hao and pukuang were shocked too.. the 4 of us with guang tian are brudders for life, but we cant even hear him now, let alone see him... our bond is broken, with him floating away, further and further away from us. i miss him, not that lover, but that brother...

10:41 AM
but you never came...

he slept at 0330....and he's online at 0945..?! wadde... lols... i like that video in my previous post.. damn touching...

2:44 AM
but you never came...

12:07 AM
but you never came...

im feeling much better today... he lamed when he's in a bad mood... he say its just a 'sign of gradtitude to my desperate attempt of trying to cheer him up', but my desperate attempts dint seem to work.... ok loh...

Friday, March 17, 2006

11:24 PM
but you never came...

i wana thank that fallen angel. seems like he fell down from heaven to luk out for me.. um... dun think too far, or too complicated. THANK YOU NG~! u muz be 'mo-ming-qi-miao-ing'... well, jus wana thank you for never failing to cheer me up and make me smile (or roar with lafter...?)... whether u did that knowingly or unknowingly... thanks once again...

ok, well, had tuition jus now... got there a LITTLE late... there's some new kid in my class today. HE SUCH A NOOB! he tuk my usual seat! how can.. crazy thing.. lols.. (i tink im the crazy one). oh ya, as i'd told sarene, tt bah gei keep starin at me with murderous eyes, totally freakin me out.nvm, forget tuition...

after tuition went to meet my mum at toa payoh.. she kept me waiting for soooooo long can... like, 1+hr?!? im damn hungry la, and she ask me go there walk walk, keep myself occupied... -.- i got home only until like, 10? den only i gota eat my dinner la! sian, ive been crying out for my dinner since halfway thr tuition la... sarene still purposely tempt me...

say she going to eat dinner soon... sian diao..

oh, anyway, wen i was at toa payoh waiting for my stupid mama to come find me, i got attacked by not one but THREE pple selling the same thing for charity.. the one ng was toking abt the other time.. the sell candles one.. TEN BUCKS for this pathetic candle! not saying i no heart, but i tink its a bt ridiculous... lols... and, wad makes u guys think a poor student like me will carry so much cash and walk arnd at nite..?! ng said they approached me cos i LOOK KIND... -.-'" yea yeah~ go ahead and start digging...

1:13 PM
but you never came...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

10:53 PM
but you never came...

A friend gave me inspiration to write this entry..

and i gota make this clear that im not aiming at anybody...

Sometimes i wonder if the world is really wad it seems like. People believing in kindness, compassion, eternity and starting afresh. All these are just for show, rite? There are times when all these are portrayed, but wad KC once said is rite. 'You gota be responsible for our own words and actions.' yeah i agree, and i noe. You can never take back our words. Cos wad's done's done. Whether you meant wad u said or not, whether its just comments that never went through thinking. The scar is already there, and it will be there. Even if 'forget everything' was said, and 'starting afresh' was done, things will never be the same again...

People always want chances to be given, and they blame it on everything else when things aint wad they expected. That's human nature -- of cos, with the exception of some. But they dun bother to give others a chance to 'start all over again' and 'take back wad they've said/done' when they ask for a chance. People often say 'u're forgiven' and tell themselves to forget what was done, but how many actually put in the effort to forget..? You tell urself that if i can forget, i forget; if i can't den its just too bad. But if you pay no attention to your wound and heck care it, there's bound to haf a scar.

Quarels helps to close the gap in a relationship, but half of the time the relationship turns sour. Cos that incident haf left some kind of prejudism in you. I know it's very difficult to fully forget and start all over again, I wun be able to do that too. But we all need to view things from a different perspective. The person might have reasons for doing so...you pple may think that it's an excuse, but please everyone, think optimistic and think positive...

To you guys know who you are:

I duno why is that book hibernating. But i dun tink it's a good sign, rite... It was the start of our friendship and our understanding. I dun want it to rot in that stinking locker. Amanda sorta gave me a punch in the face when she asked me a question which i first thot it to be silly and stupid, but after that begin to think really hard. She asked if we quarelled AGAIN. I thot she was being her 'usual self' again by asking such a question. But i think she had been too not-herself went she asked. Cos to think of it, we are really acting like strangers and not toking. Guess she's thinking too complicated and too far, i duno. We are all changing now, no longer like before... ... ...

To some people out there who hates me to the core and thinks im jus an extra piece of shit, this entry may be just and equally irrelevant post as i am..and I've got nothing to say. You may think that im trying to be some hypocrite by trying my very best to tok chim (and is soo not chim), but i just wana say that im not always 24/7 that RACHEL YANG you noe. Rachel yang has many different sides. If you only choose to remember and take note of that ONE side of me, den i tink your life is so miserable. Cos that means you never got to see the 'miracle' that others had seen : the OTHER side of me...

Pride betrays your soul...

8:28 PM
but you never came...

lols... sometimes it just feels sooo great to hear pple self contradict themselves...pple tell themselves they dun care.. but they actualli BOTHERED to find out wads happening.. lols... wierd world.. WIERDER PERSON...

7:23 PM
but you never came...

i gota learn to blog without pressing enter all the time...cos of my new blogskin.... i spent like sooooooo long to luk for this skin and spent sooooo long to do everything nice nice.. den in the end..? it somehow nevigated.... -.-'" everything GONE..! so i had to REDO eveything, and it tuk me like, 1hr+++?! craziness.. ive been online since 10am la! im sooo gona get hell from my bro man...

amazing thing is he doesnt seem to nid slp... i went offline at 1+ am, he's still online..this morning wen i came online, HE'S THERE! wha kao... no nid slp.. superman..lols.......

and i hate it when pple keep saying sorry to me... you dint do anything, and ure not at ANY fault at all,so stop saying sorry.cos i dun like to hear tt word.. esp from u kaays..

anyway, my tag SUX.. cant be nev.so, sori pple...currently no tag.. so ng gota tag SOME OTHER DAY.. lols...

12:07 PM
but you never came...

no more cuts

no more bleeding

no more scars

ive moved on..

for real now...

so sarene n minshian shld be 'finally' liao rite...

so now since ive done wad im supposed to do liao,

sarene, i tink u shld too...

anywayss

to u-noe-hu

if u wana read my blog, dun laf...

can...?

tho i noe it damn gao xiao to u la....

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

11:33 PM
but you never came...

sian..

next time if u guys see my blog add on my msn nick,

please remind me to delete the add...

y..?cos HE read this blog...

sickening..

lols

but its not his fault la..

like he said

i dint say he cant read..

and.....aiya, wadeva

anyway

pray hard he only read the first 3 entries..

i felt vomittish again...

WHA LAU..

he say my entry ji funny...

-.-'"

plse la..

ok lorh..

funi loh...

happi?

hapi can le :]

oh, btw

b4 i forget..

AMANDA! ! my dear zhar boh

get well soon kaays...?

she got fever from her bro..

tsk tsk

and she puked in school this morning...

STUPID ELIM~!

dun let me zhar boh go home..

kept her baq and tortured her man...

how can...!

left her with no choice but to puke in school...

haix....

so mean..

oh, today chem prac damn funi..

ystd px sent me this video on some RJC tutor tearing her student's work..

i witnessed it this morning can...

elim tore yongjun's work..

kao

she said its slipshot work..

hahaX~

den she veh farnie

after tt she lectured yongjun while we're doing test

den i cant tahan den kip lafing (to myself la)..

laf as in..

elim's lecture veh cute..not i mean

ok la, im mean....

aiya den anyway

after tt she gaf yongjun another worksheet...

ask him to piece baq his torn work and copy it over to the other pc of paper..

HUH?

hahaX~

nvm

yeah, tts it

i wan slp le..

umm

maybe wait for him to offline first

lols

i crazy..

yeah

i tink he not going to read this blog anymore la..

cos my MSN nick no more add...

rotfl

6:52 PM
but you never came...

darn...

i think something happened to flashbox.sg

my tag now like duno wad

lols

conssie's oso...

haix

sian..

this means ng got an excuse for not leaving his footprints here...

hor..?

but no worries...

i make sure its fixed asap..

6:10 PM
but you never came...

today after chem went yck grassroot there to play pool with px..

ok la...

lost to him..

1-2

but..

i feel so happy..

at least he called me a lao jiao..

lols...

after only 3 days..!?

wha

so flattered...

hheh

i tink is he lousy la..

either tt or he bai chiu(handicapped)

owellss

after tt pool we went to take bus baq

and guess wad..

we RAN FASTER THAN THE BUS!!

whao

hahaX~

yeah

something lidat la

i saw the bus leave den we chiong to the nxt bus stop..

hahaX~

umm

yeah

tts it i guess...

oh ya..

b4 i forget..

somebody said i complain to the whole world...

now i PRAISE YOU can...?!

to the whole world can...?

lols...

okaaayyy

here goes:

ng wished me good luck

rotfl

happy?

1:00 AM
but you never came...

chenyang told him...

well...

assuming he doesnt read my blog..

and i doubt he cares la...

anyway

i was really freaking out...

turned cold and stuff...

shivering and stomach ache..

felt like vomiting..

lols...

anyway

he said he duno wad to say...

so i guess...

i told him if he finds the news to be too shocking and he cant take it..

den he forget it la..

he's forgetting it la

well...

guess theres nothing much left..

hahaX~

jus hope nobody avoids each other or something lidat..

i want to keep at least this friendship...

understand...?!

hahaX~

he doesnt noe

lols

i tink im crazy...

stop dreaming is the phrase to use la...

but..

i dint noe i was tt serious until ystd...

umm...

yeah

[studies more impt...]

(ng, dun laf.. ure supposed to tag)

tears were genuin...

i tink it is too now...

ummm

not tears from my eyes now...

from my heart..

lols

so emotional

guess so la

i was jus afraid of rejections...

and...

nvm..

at least its indirectly..

hahaX~

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

11:24 PM
but you never came...

ARGH

MY LAPTOP FELL ONTO THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIAN

WHOLE BASE SMASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

due to WEIGHT and GRAVITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

siaow liao!! going crazy!!!!

hair falling due to constant scratching!!!!!!

the stupid chips even FLEW OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH

9:31 PM
but you never came...

cy suggest tt i tell him striaght..

WADDEHELL..?!

no way man...

he say he going to tell..

hahaX~

i doubt he will get to tell la

lols...

6:49 PM
but you never came...

two parts to today's story...

start with the first

and the more boh liao one...

today had cip..

just got home..

supposed to do morning shift only

but decided to do full day..

tho i only DID half day

lols...

[dun 'huh?' me]

morning reached there quite early la...

den after that we from somerset walk to douby ghaut..

den started 'begging'..

amanda was at bus stop and me and px near the traffic light..

den i decided to show px the place where i played pool ystd...

amanda told us to go first

den we went off loh...

den we walk damn far liao she still heben cum

den i called her she nv ans...!!

den when she finally did, me and px already got baq to the bus stop liao..

and she missing..

marwin told us she go city hall...

i was like..

wt...she itchy ah

lols

walk all the way there..

last time bring her walk she complain...!?

hahaX~

nvm

den me and px went amk

i told her we meet her there..

she had my bottle..

den anyway

when we got to amk,

px pang seh me

he told me to stay there and den he go mayflower find his friend..

wth..!?

ok la

anyway my stay at amk quite fruitful la...

den i called amanda..

she say her badges left with 2 ONLY ! !

lauZ~

SO FAST..?!

16 all together...

$2 den can gif one..

wha her side there damn rich...

lols

den she say she finish selling liao den call me again...

anyway she DID finish all la..

den it brings us to PART TWO...

was supposed to meet up with ng this hols with the other gals...

den cldnt find a time..

supposed to be today but it wasnt confirmed..

aiya but its confirmed la..

sian, duno what i toking..

lols

anyway

i call ng liao den he came str away..

lols

ok la

not STRAIGHT AWAY..

but something lidat...?!

hor, ng..

[i noe u always read my entries de...]

he like sui chuan sui dao...

(like dog..? opps...)

hahaX~

he was at home

den i called him to come dwn amk

we going to play pool...

den he was like..ok..?

hahaX~

bedok to amk not veh fast leh!!

and sumur he gotta rush assignments..?

lesson plans?

or projects?

duno la...lols

he so nice..

anywayss,damn sad la!

px bluff me....

in the end cannot go into the pool room thingy

den ng was sian diao..?

lols

px stay at amk

den me and ng went dg find amanda...

we went long john's for lunch

den me and ng went to play pool while amanda go baq to return her tin...

she supposed to meet us at paradiz centre..

where me and ng are pooling..

budden she say her mama coming liao

so she ps us...

haha

me and ng play for sooooooo long la!!

he keep giving in to me...

but i never got to win..

lols

ive learnt alot from today's pool lesson tho..

ohhh..

i won once..

when ng's last ball went in the wrong hole...

lols

anyway, itink i improved quite a bit from ystd...

hahX

oh, den px came over to meet us...

we played for arnd 5 hrs...?!

hahaX~

den ng paid..

SIAN LA

i hate it lorh...

as in

i jio him out de den he pay..?!

i paid him baq la

but not enuf

lols

gaf him baq $10..?

haha

feel so bad...

ohhh...

we saw jerome and gang at paradiz there de toilet..

hahaX~

they were like pointing at ng den say wad..

"eh... u r tt mr wad hor.. ehh mr wad ah..?"

(something along tt line la...)

KAO

ng teach u b4 can....

U DUNO HIS NAME?!

so saddening la!

hahaX~

den we went to change baq to school u..

ng went to take bus den me and px walked baq to somerset..

on the way saw jerome they all at dg mrt...

i say him loh

den he say "wha lau.. how i rmb...? u noe meh..!?"

lols... come on la

haha

i even noe his bday can..!?

hahaX~

ok...

aiya

den in the end nothing much le..

so, yeah.....

tml got chem prac and test..

wish me luck man..

stupid ng la...

dun wana wish me luck..

say dun wana waste his luck on me...!?

lauZ...wad a thing to say man...

hahaX~

now i bed time...

slp liao den go eat...

12:13 AM
but you never came...

renfred and clara dun deserve it loh...

renfred only can sing fast songs and dance...

mainly dance..

his intonation and quality is NOT THERE at all can...!?

and khim rawks!

Monday, March 13, 2006

9:32 PM
but you never came...

finally...

feel so much better after watching css...

well i feel like commenting leh..

pple reading this entry dun oi me or wad la

i jus wana do something to keep me occupied..

lol

ok..

F1 : khim

i missed the entire thing..

hahaX~

was in my room...

crying..

lols

so no comments..

F2 : teresa

not bad la

i tink this song suits her loh

as in

she got this princess-y look..

and this song got this super elegant feeling..

to me la

den she dance..ok la

as in

quite da1..

nice

personal rating : 7.5

F3 : clara

i personally dun like her

i tink she cant sing

but today not bad..

she can sing fast songs la

cos i tink her pitching not veh stable

so fast song can cover up for her...

and she dance and sing oso not say veh chuan

so...

overall i tink her performance not bad

personal rating : 6.5

F4 : dean

KAO!

SUPER DISPPOINTED

waddehell happened...!!!!

i was looking forward to see her performance leh

sian

i thot she shld be veh good de

but anyway

she was OKAY at first

but i thot she sore throat or wad loh

she sing until like veh pek chek lidat

haha

den she chose wrong song la

too high for her

and too power for her

she not power enuf

intonation quite bad la...

dancing oso veh nuah...

she pai seh loh..

must be

personal rating : 5.5

M1 : cheeyang

i think he luks damn cool..

his first appearance not bad!

got this sha qi

haha

i personally think he fu ge tt part not bad leh..

but its true la..

he fast tt part not veh clear...

but, i mean,

energy oso lidat wad..

fast leh..

how to clear esp when u got braces...

lols

personal rating : 7.0

M2 : renfred

WHA

of ALL the performances since day 1..

today's the best..

one thing is cos tt song suits him la..

haha

as in the singing fang shi..

his dancing oso DAMN ZAI~!

and he wun chuan..

so tts veh good!

plus points...

personal rating : 7.5

M3 : yuyang

umm

i tink he not suitable for this kinda songs..

as in

those veh mischievous songs..

i tink he better at shu qing ge..

tho he luks and behaves veh michievously...

personal rating : 7.0

M4 : adriano

KAO

wad happened...?!

i looking forwards to his and renfreds for male

but i tink he quite disappointing la

his wu tai mei li is there..

but

his singing ah..

today super bad

but at least he can smile smile laf laf den over le..

not as obvious as deans..

his intonation today oso a bit off..

personal rating : 6.5

ok la

im not some pro feller la

i jus base on my PERSONAL OPINIONS...

tho i not good at all these things..

but at least i haf a bit of experience in music ma..

so yeah...

pple reading this..

dun whack me ah..

lols

but i tink tonite veh tough decision...

i tink dean will be out..

but i hope clara goes out..

i tink yuyang will be out

but i hope renfred goes out..

well..

seriously NO OFFENSE!

lets see la...

adious~!

7:26 PM
but you never came...

my heart feels so heavy all of a sudden..

something's choking me..

i cried..

i duno y...

think im really serious..

guess im just tired..

tired from eveything

tired of everything..

i jus wana hibernate

and stay in my hole FOREVER..

my legs are weak

i cant go on anymore...

7:23 PM
but you never came...

tears from my heart...

he's no longer that happy jovial self...

i jus wanted to cheer him up..

but he wans me to leave him alone...

guess its time i stop dreaming....

7:19 PM
but you never came...

today had chi oral...

so damned disgusting loh

as in my performance..

lol

like shit

nvm

FINALLY~!

after YEARS of pool and snooker theory

i gotta do the PRACTICAL! !

lols

all thanks to my brudders..

yan hao and pu kuang..

they brought me to PS there play..

it was okay la..

obviously the loser is ME...

duh

budden towards the end i ALMOST won pk...!

but

cos my black ball go in the wrong hole...

I LOST~!

damned..

haha

but not bad la

beginner lehX~

quite nice

and

i tink its quite cheap too la

lols

something happened at the MRT station..

dun wana mention..

damn sickening...

nvm

msged xueqi in the train..

she told me her mood not that good..

anyway

she said they not happy with chris...

something happened during the performance..?!

i duno..

MISS THEM!

miss them like crazy..

haix

anywayss

i tink xq kinda regretted la

cos she did something so wrong last time..

umm

i tink is i hai one

but now she veh cham

tt person kip irritating her...!?

haix

nvm gurl

take it easy

cheer up

i'll always be here if u nid someone to listen to all ur trashing

lols..